50 - That Girl

Did you know that it's a scientific fact that current high school students have shorter attention spans than high school students who graduated as early as ten years ago? 

My AP English teacher told me that last year. She was venting about how ludicrous it was that 18 year olds couldn't even focus enough to take a three hour test. And quite honestly, it is ridiculous. Any guesses as to what's causing this? No one can know for sure, but I have a pretty educated one. 

Have you honestly gone more than one day without checking something on your computer? I don't mean times when you don't have access to the Internet, I mean times where you're at home. And the Internet is up and running. If you're a person who reads my blog regularly, I would guess no. Unless you're Sara, because she has the largest workload of anyone I know right now. Since the invention of social networks, I can guarantee that Internet use has sky-rocketed -- even more so, since the invention of smart phones. Texting, video games, chatting, TV, blogging, Skype, virtual realities... this generation constantly needs to be entertained, and it's affecting their ability to put all of their focus into one outlet. 

I am certainly a guilty party. 

Not only do I check Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Blogger, and my email about 20 times a day, but I also amaze myself at how much stock I put into the feedback I receive. Sometimes (and I'm pretty sure everyone does this) I post a status purely so people will comment. Something witty or unique. And when I don't get comments, it actually hurts my feelings. 

It took me a while to realize how ridiculous that is. It doesn't matter who how many comments, or likes, or profile views I have. It doesn't matter how many "friends" I have. Half of those "friends" were people I met four years ago and haven't said one word to since. Probably about ten of those friends are people I REALLY don't like, but I do know, so I feel obligated to accept their request. 

Facebook is a blessing. When my sister moves away, I'll get to see my nephew and know what's happening in his life. When my friends have a good day, I know about it - even though I live miles and miles away. It's a blessing. But like all blessings, it can be misused. It can hurt my spirit. It can damage the way I view the world. 

I removed the Facebook app on my phone and iPod. I'm going to practice self-control, and allow myself to look at Facebook once a day. Because, honestly? I don't need Facebook to reassure my self-worth. I know how many people love me. And they know that I love them. 

I don't want to be "that girl". The one who gets hurt because she notices who didn't write on her wall for her birthday. The one who uses Facebook as a personal diary. The one who can't sit down and take a three hour test without getting antsy. 

I don't want to be a girl who lives in every other life except her own. So, I'm attempting to change my course before my road even gets close to the road of "that girl". 

49 - English Major

Reasons why I'm an English major:

• I enjoy editing papers. 
• Using incorrect grammar is a good way to torture me. Or just drive me crazy and force me to correct you. 
• I say things like "Charles Dickens is the Chuck Norris of the English language."
• I would rather write essays and papers than any other kind of school work. 
• I have several journals full of long-winded passages that probably could be shortened to a sentence. 
• Reading Shakespeare literally takes my breath away. 
• In sixth grade, I was supposed to write a two page paper on Lois Lowry. I wrote six instead... 
• I want a bracelet with mini Harry Potter books on it. 
• My sister used to get mad at me for my vocabulary. (You know who you are. Hehe.)
• Dog-earing books is a hanging offense in my opinion. 
• In elementary school, I mainly read at recess. 
• Once, during the summer, I read over 2500 pages in a week and a half. I was also dead to the world...
• My sister tells me that I used to fall asleep reading, but my eyes were still open. 
• When I doodle, I doodle in words. Not pictures. 
• I often write in cursive with my finger on things I'm holding, or in the air. 
• I like writing in this blog. Sometimes I get away with myself and write too much, so people probably stop reading. I've tried to control that a bit...
• My ceiling and wall used to be plastered with quotes. 
• I've been building a personal library of my own since I was 7. 
• I was better friends with the librarian in elementary school than I was with my peers. 
• My idea of a fun date is walking through Barnes and Noble with hot chocolate and good conversation. 
• If I could, I would spend all my money on books. 
• I've been pretty apprehensive about the Kindle because I don't want my future to be a paperless one. 
• I hate to say it, but I'm kind of arrogant when it comes to English. I'm working on it...
• I think I know more than I actually do. I'm sure experience will humble me in that aspect. 

And the number one reason why I'm an English major: 

• I love words, and I think the English language can be more powerful than any weapon in the world. I hope I can spread that love and knowledge, and inspire people the way I've been inspired. Hence the reason I'm studying to be an English teacher. See this post and this post to read more about how much I love words. 

I don't know how to express how captivated I am by literature. But you all know how much I love theatre, and Charles Dickens connects the two nicely. 

"Poetry makes life what lights and music do the stage." 

48 - A Funny Thing

Birthdays are a funny thing, aren't they?

When I was little, it was this magical day that was all about me and only me. There was something special about my birthday, like I had a special glow around me for just that one day. I wouldn't be able to sleep because I was so excited, and my nights would be so restless because of all the wonderful dreams I had about the presents that I would get. 

I also had the best birthday parties when I was younger. In my family, generally the odd years were the ones that you had a friend party and the even years were when you just had a family party but with bigger presents. For my seventh birthday, we rented out the Little Gym for the whole day (which was probably only two hours haha but to my seven-year-old mind, it was the whole day). For my ninth birthday party, my mom went all out for a Harry Potter party, Sorting Hat and everything. Then we saw Harry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone in theaters. After 11, though, I didn't have many friends. And for future my birthdays, I hung out with the ones that mattered.  

Birthdays are a funny thing. 

Yesterday was that day again, for me. At 11:06 AM, I turned 19. 

I'm sad to say the magic of birthdays has essentially dissipated by the time you're 19. It's just another day, and then you remember "Hey! It's my birthday!" But the butterflies that used to keep me awake at night, the glow that used to radiate around only me -- they're gone. 

Don't fret, however. Because it's a trade-off. Blissful ignorance for maturity and experience. Pure selfishness for compassion and empathy. Expecting huge presents for expecting the ones you love to be there. 

Yes, birthdays are a funny thing. Because as I've grown older, I've just begun to understand that birthdays aren't about the presents or the money. It's about the feeling you get. That feeling that occurs when you realize how many people love you, and are glad that you were born. That feeling in your heart that makes you know you've made a difference, if only in your own small world. That feeling that makes you feel special. 

Your birthday wouldn't be a day of celebration if you weren't someone worth celebrating. 

Just remember that on your next birthday. 

:)

47 - Wall of Books

As all of you should know, books are pretty much my favorite thing.
If I could spend all of my money on books, I probably would. And not even feel bad. Haha.

A lot of different blogs are read discuss decor, and many of them use books in their decorating. I thought about what I would like to have in my dream home, and books are definitely in the picture. A huge library would be the ultimate dream. But! I did a search on Flickr and found so many cool pictures with books and bookshelves as a creative decoration.

Someday, when I have lots of money and can do whatever I want with it, this is what I'll do!

46 - Leftovers

Isn't it funny how America is characterized? We have always been "the melting pot". Just a bunch of other cultures mixed together to create one obese superpower. There are, however, a few things that America in itself does hold a claim to:

Hollywood...Apple... Rock and Roll...
(Although, arguably, some of the greatest classic rock bands did originate in Great Britain.)

and also,

Hamburgers.

 If you want to have an authentic American meal, a hamburger would be the closest you can get. (Also a hotdog, but I don't like them much so they don't matter. Unless it's a chili dog.)

Today, I had that authentic American meal, complete with french fries on the side. I could only eat half of my burger, and that was very sad for me. However, being the thinker that he is, Cole put my hamburger in a to-go box and I brought it back to Logan with me. I know what you're thinking. Heated up, leftover hamburgers are gross. But. Have you ever actually tried it, or did you just shudder at the thought and never gave it a go?

I was very hungry when we got back to Logan. Neither of us really have money to spend on fast food. So, I reheated the hamburger.

It was the best darn reheated hamburger I have ever had. Even the lettuce went in the microwave, which just gave it kind of a lettuce wrap feel to the eating experience. There was still some crunch, but it was warm.

I know that some of you may be gagging right now, even judging me. Maybe it was the hunger that made it so good. Maybe I was just imagining eating the real one. (Not that the reheated one isn't real...) Maybe being a college student has changed my opinion of acceptable food to eat. I don't know.

All I know is, that hamburger was great.
And it was reheated in the microwave for 45 seconds.

Typing of hamburgers, looks at this:

Oh, America. How I love you.

45 - A Night of Tragedy

Let me tell you a little story. 

Once upon a very recent time, in a very near place, some college freshmen were counting down the hours until they could register for classes. Being at the bottom of the totem pole, they had to wait days and days until it was their turn. 

Everyone knew the trick -- sign in at exactly midnight, and you'll most likely get the classes you want. The trouble is, everyone knew the trick. Everyone said that they were going to sign in at midnight. So when they did... the server crashed.

Chaos erupted. Students waited for minutes, and then hours, for the server to work again. But alas, to no avail. Most went to sleep, and then awoke early in the morning to discover that most, if not all, of their much needed classes were full. Poor, sad freshmen. You'll just have to wait your turn to be at the top again. 

What was I doing during this night of tragedy? 

I was sitting in bed, reading a book. And laughing to myself. 

I'm in the honors program, and I got to register a week ago. 

:) 

P.S. This is the book that I'm reading: 

44 - Adri

It's amazing how one little thing can happen to change your whole perspective on life.
How, after that little thing, petty arguments and bad hair days don't matter anymore.

Don't worry, no one died.

But one of my best friends could have.

We have zero control over where our lives are going to take us.
Zip.
Zilch.

We can only control how we react and we take all the crap life throws at us. Stop for a minute, and be grateful for all of the things that make it just a little bit easier to deal.

My love, my family, my friends.
Reading, writing, music.
Beautiful sunsets and sparkling winter mornings.
My faith.

What if your life on this earth ended tomorrow? What would you lose? What would you regret?

Who didn't you get to say "I love you" to?

I love you, Adri. I'm so happy you're ok. God was watching over you that day. If things had gone another way on Sunday, I don't know what I would've done.

Actually, I do. I would've been more sad than I've ever been in my life, and cried my eyes out.

To find out what caused this deep introspection, click on the "Adri" link.

43 - Idiosyncrasies

Everyone has weird quirks. I find it interesting to see what people's likes and dislikes are -- mine especially.

Likes:

• washing the dishes
• folding laundry
• reading with music on 
• sleeping with music on
• writing on a whiteboard 
• doodling in words 
• doodling words in the air
• being cold, but with lots of blankets 
• the smell of winter (because, yes, it has a smell)
• close-toed shoes
• sad movies
• melancholy music

Dislikes: 

• vacuuming (ask me, and I'll explain it to you)
• the smell of gasoline
• being hot, even if there's a fan or I'm in a tanktop
• open-toed shoes
• coloring
• reading with people talking around me 
• being touched (I don't give hugs unless we're REALLY good friends.) 
• cheesy music 
• overdramatic acting 
• voices that scoop when they sing 

These are just a few... Obviously, if I went into everything that I liked and disliked, this post would be MUCH longer. Haha. But these are things that people have commented to me before as being odd or weird. 

We all have weird idiosyncrasies. Quirks. It's part of what makes us human! Embrace being an individual. It's one of the greatest gifts we've been given. 

42 - No Fear Shakespeare

This week, USU is honored to have the Actors from the London Stage come to perform The Tempest and give all kinds of fun workshops. In two of my classes, one of the actors came and spoke. Actually, both of them kind of a gave a mini workshop.

In my folklore class, we started studying a rather lost Irish tradition known as mumming. It's kind of like caroling in that around Christmastime a group of people go around to different houses but instead of singing, they perform a short play. Today, an actress named Jennifer Kidd came and we worked on acting out or own sort of mumming, under her guidance. In my creative arts class, an actor named Dale Rapley came and we discussed the Tempest and how he as an actor learned to understand and really take in Shakespeare. We basically dissected Prospero's "our revels now are ended" monologue and discussed his character (Rapley plays Prospero in his production.)

I don't know, there's just something about Shakespeare that enraptures my mind. I don't know how to explain it, but whenever I study Shakespeare I just go into a sort of literary high. I love it. I think his words are so brilliant and moving -- they're beautiful. And all I want to do is read more and analyze more and envelope myself with sonnets and iambic pentameter. The first Shakespeare play I was ever introduced to, officially, was A Midsummer Nights' Dream in elementary school. We acted it out when I was in fifth grade (obviously a condensed, translated version). Even then, I found it so captivating.

The first time I remember Shakespeare really getting to me, though, was when we studied Romeo and Juliet in ninth grade. We read portions of it aloud everyday and that month was probably my favorite of the whole year. Most people thought it was boring, but I soaked in every word. Being fourteen, it was the perfectly tragic love story. Then, I thought I loved it because I was a teenager and in love with love. I read all of the cheesy teenage romance books like they were food that I needed everyday.

But then I began studying more plays, and I loved those just as much. Plays that aren't necessarily love stories. Hamlet, MacBeth, Much Ado, Othello... I didn't love Romeo and Juliet just because it is the perfectly tragic love story. I just love Shakespeare. And studying the Tempest today, if only for fifty minutes, reminded me.

"The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, 

The solemn temples, the great globe itself,

Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve

And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, 

Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff

As dreams are made on, and our little life

Is rounded with a sleep..."

It's haunting. And sad. 

And beautiful. 

This is a picture I found on a blog:

Pretty cool, huh?
Sorry if this post is boring. Haha I forget that not everyone is enamored with literature as I am. I am an English major for a reason...

41 - Snow Place on Earth

When I first decided to move to Logan, my first thought was (as was everyone else's, I imagine) that Logan is very much known for being very cold and snowy 8 out of the 12 months in a year. My mother's take was that I am crazy. My sister is literally in love with snow, no matter what time of year, so she probably was jealous. I am more in the middle. Generally, I love snow. But it does get tiresome come the middle of March.

Be that as it may, I was excited for the snow.

So imagine my surprise when not only does it snow everywhere in Utah except for Logan, but also when it finally does snow in Logan it melts the next day! I've been looking at Kim's blog and Facebook pictures with the fun snow pictures, where the snow is abundant, and wishing that Logan would stay true to its reputation.

It snowed Friday night. Kind of stayed on Saturday. And then, as I was walking home from church today, I noticed the ground was not white anymore.

:(

Oh well.

I will just have to be patient for my snow to come. I will have to be patient for my chance to bundle up see my breath turn into little crystals in front of my face. I will have to be patient for the days holed up with a book, a blanket, and a mug of hot chocolate. I will have to be patient for my absolute favorite setting -- the kind that always makes me happy: a night-time walk during a light snowfall. I love looking up at the sky when it's snowing and dark because it makes me feel like there are stars all around me. It never fails to make me feel at peace.

It reminds me of how Lorelai feels about snow. In Gilmore Girls. It always brings happiness. Snow means Christmas, and snowmen, and snowball fights, and cuddling up with Cole when my nose is red and I'm freezing. Snow means taking walks with Cole, while our fingers are still laced together in his coat pocket because he won't let go. It means walking around temple square, with the lights and the music surrounding me. In Logan, I imagine it'll mean walking around the Logan temple. Or just around campus.

Temple square last year. 

One of the Luminaries. So pretty :)

Last birthday was the best birthday I've ever had. November 23rd, 2010. It also happened to snow about a foot and a half that night. When it started blizzarding, my whole family went outside to run around and enjoy the snowfall. Then my little sister was kind enough to take a really cute picture of Cole and me :)

One of my most favorite Christmas days was one that had a similar weather occurence. Christmas '08. Sara stayed at our house most of the vacation (as she hadn't met Tyler yet) and on Christmas her car was literally buried in snow. It was so much fun.

Sara's car buried in the snow

This is the Christmas I got my Canon Rebel. So this is a cool picture I took. 

Another attempt at a cool picture with my Rebel. 

So, yeah. I'm excited for the snow.
That doesn't make me crazy, right?
I have many more snow memories, too many to post. These are just some relatively recent ones.

Ooh another good snow storm happened on the opening night of Annie! That was a good night too!

Sorry if this broke my promise of a funny post. Hopefully my writing was at least witty.

40 - Blessings

Remember that book I bought for the One Line Memoirs idea? If you don't, I wrote about it here.
Well, I did that for like three days and then stopped. Haha. But! I'm using it now for a good cause, everyday. It's my blessings journal. At the end of every day, I write down five good things that happened. Five blessings that I received that day.

Sometimes, to be considered a blessing, I have to look at it from a different perspective, but that's what I like so much about this idea. Now I'm looking everyday for the things that I'll be able to write down in my journal before I go to sleep. Now I'm looking at my life as if all of it is one big blessing.

Because it is. Life is a blessing. If you think about it, the fact that we're living is a medical miracle. There are so many things that our bodies can do that have no scientific explanation. They just are. And the fact that we are technically animals, but have so much depth and beauty amidst all of the pain is quite simply amazing.

Some of the blessings I've put down are:

• Beautiful, autumn weather 
• Having yoga be good exercise because I need it 
• Having yoga be easier since it was so hard the day before
• When a random friend calls me up to say hi
• When they have mashed potatoes at the cafeteria by my apartment 
• Having homework so I can be productive 
• When my hair goes just the way it's supposed to (which hardly ever happens, by the way. It may look the same to you guys, but my hair doesn't ever do what I want it to do.) 
• The relationships I have in my life (Cole, my family, my friends) That's a big one. 
• Getting the chance to rest so I realize that I like being busy. 
• Having the chance to prove to myself and everyone else who I really am. (That one's kind of personal for different people.) 
• Going to a class I fully intended on skipping because it was Friday, and then discovering that there was a pop quiz. (That's actually happened more than once... mostly because I usually chicken out when wanting to skip a class. Haha. Old habits and all that...)
• Having the chance to serve people

Those are just a few. I've been doing it nearly every night for about a month now, and it really has changed my perspective. Amazing how looking specifically for good things puts you in a habit of looking for them all the time.

I've been so philosophical lately. The next post will be a funny one, I promise.

:)