60 - Work it

Today I left my apartment at 10:00 and didn't get back until 4:30. And you know what? It was great.

I spent all of last semester laying in bed, watching Netflix and occasionally doing homework. Even when I did the homework, there was only one class that I enjoyed and felt like my best was needed. This semester, I'm taking 16 credit hours and as of the first day, three of the four classes seem to require my undivided attention. I'm so excited to be a student again and feel good about myself.

I know that it seems like doing nothing is the dream. Truth is -- it's not. Doing nothing only increases the insecurities you have about yourself. Pretty soon, you get used to it and expect less of yourself. Then you have zero motivation to do anything. I wasn't at that point yet, but if I had even one more semester of the nothing that was my life while everyone else was working at their classes, it would have been bad news. The Kolbie as you know her would've slowly ceased to exist and in her place would be a lazy slob who only gave mediocre work and hated herself.

Like I said, we didn't get there :)

This semester I'm excited to work hard and progress. I'm excited to improve myself and come home tired every day. I'm excited to want to take a nap instead of feeling guilty because I've been in bed all day. Last year I used to feel guilty for napping because I only had a few hours for several hours worth of homework. Believe me, no matter how stressful it was, my personal preference is the latter. Because last year, I felt accomplished. And I know I can get there again.

Let this be a cautionary tale for you all -- a break is nice, and oftentimes very needed and much deserved. However, we have passions for a reason. Working is the way we progress. Who wants to stay the same the rest of their lives? I sure don't. I want to get better and better.

I already know I'm on the right track.

Happy spring semester.