102 - Last Day of Summer

I've been so focused on getting through this summer that it hasn't really dawned on me that it's over. I'm moving tomorrow, so today is basically my last day of summer. And do you know what I'm doing? Packing. And cleaning. Haha.

It's funny how things change as you grow up. I remember, when I was younger, the Last Day of Summer being an almost reverent day (hence the capitalization). I definitely didn't spend it doing boring things. Summer was the time where I didn't have any rules. I could just do what I wanted.

Now, though, I already have that. After moving out once, I'm used to that. So moving home for the summer was almost... less freedom than I was used to. I had a curfew, I had to ask permission for things, I had to always tell my mom where I was... Not that I mind, but it was definitely less freedom.

I had a lot of fun this summer. I went on some awesome trips. I also had a lot of sadness and missing this summer. But now, on this Last Day of Summer, I realize that I'm definitely ready for life again.

I miss these guys:

This one's married:

I will miss these guys, though:

But not him because he's coming with me :)

Life changes. Perspective changes. You grow older. If you take the opportunity, you can learn from life. You can apply lessons, and you can progress. I have a lot more growing to do.

You know what's funny, though? Last summer, right after I graduated high school, I felt so... old. 
Right now, on this Last Day of Summer, I feel so young and naive. I know what growing up means. It means doing hard things. It means being by yourself sometimes. It means taking responsibility.

It means de-capitalizing the Last Day of Summer.

-ka

101 - Why I Write

Sometimes, I just need to write.

I need to write in the way that all people need to sleep.

In my psychology class, I learned that sleeping is like a reboot for your mind. It, quite frankly, works miracles. Baffles neurologists. No one knows why sleeping keeps us alive, but it does. Our neurons continue to fire and our hearts continue to beat and our feelings continue to feel because we sleep. Writing does that for my insides.

When I write, I seem to feel everything. I feel pain, and anger, and sadness, and elation, and surprise, and horror, and wonder all at the same time. I feel like I have an entire world inside of me with girls and boys. People, like you and me. They’re inside me, and I’m channeling everything they feel. They want me to tell my world about emotion—as if my world doesn’t quite get it. I’m the solution—me. Those figurative and literal people inside of my bones shake me until I feel like I’m going to explode with passion and ideas.

I have to write. If I don’t write, then I’ll explode. Simple as that.

Ok, obviously it’s not as simple as that. I know that there isn’t a world inside of my body, and that I’m not going to explode because I’m passionate about what I do. But maybe the fact that I feel like that sometimes makes all the difference. Maybe that’s what makes me unique.

Honestly, though, I feel like being unique is so… in right now. Haha. Doing things to be different is the trend. Quite the paradox, right? It’s trendy to not be trendy. Whatever. I can assure you that I’m not being trendy when I say that I love being unique. I always have, even when it lost me all my friends. But I digress.

 This figurative and literal world inside of me is the reason I am who I am. It’s the reason I’ve accomplished so many things. I am someone who gets inspired by some well-placed words in a novel. I get excited about underlying meanings. I seek to find the uniqueness in every situation. When I know I’ve gotten something right, that world inside of me is quiet. Peaceful. Satisfied.

Then. I can sleep. And start all over.

-ka

100 - I'm Proud

I don't know if you noticed, but my countdown is gone. I've kind of neglected this blog the past few months, but I wanted to save my 100th post for something really special. I've been waiting to upload to the pictures for this very special post, which is why it's taken so long. But, here it is:

Cole is home, and he is officially a member of the U.S. Army. He's a candidate for Officer, and he'll be completing his requirements via the ROTC at our school. It took me a while to really get used to the idea, but I'm so proud of him. I'm so proud that he would be willing to sacrifice so much for what he believes in.

I went to South Carolina to go to his graduation and bring him home. While I was there, I was overwhelmed with emotions. My emotions about him, what he's doing, our country, family... everything. I'm so proud to be an American, and I'm so lucky that I have so many heroes in my life. I truly believe that soldiers are American heroes, and I just happen to be in love with one.

I love my soldier. And I'm proud of his choices.

-ka

99 - Healthy Happy Heart, and Other Summer News

My sister and I are starting a health blog. My other sisters are also invited, and will probably include their input.

You should read it. :)

Click here. Or here. If you REALLY want to read it, CLICK HERE.

In other news, I've been doing a lot of reading this summer. Don't worry, I'm still keeping track of my Reading Riot stuff. I just haven't posted about it in a while. I'll do a catch up with that pretty soon, though.

I've been reading Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell. Basically, this journalist discusses successful people and their stories. He also talks about the misconceptions our culture has about said successful people.

Some interesting ideas so far:

• Being an expert at something requires hard work as well as abundant opportunity. 
• Being an expert at something also requires an inordinate amount of practice. 10,000 hours, if I want to be accurate. 
• Being renowned has a lot to do with being in the right place at the right time. 
• Your home environment does more to cultivate your intelligence than almost any other environment. 
• There's no such thing as being super smart. Intelligence, like all things, has a threshold. 

That last one I especially find interesting. I mean, obviously, there are innate abilities involving intelligence. However, recent findings have shown that there isn't a perfect correlation between the highest of intelligence and world-renowned success. A person with a high IQ (generally, above 130) is just as likely to succeed as a person with a higher IQ.

This book has been so interesting for me because I have always been placed in gifted programs in school. I had a rant about work and intelligence a few posts ago, so you guys know that this kinda stuff really hits home for me. I'm not, like, super-genius-smart. I do, however, have a large vocabulary. Any guesses as to why? Reading is all I ever did as a kid. I always (and still do, in fact) had a book with me. My step-sister is freakishly good at math and puzzles. Do you know what she always had with her as a child? A Sudoku book. Gifted people don't just stumble upon a talent and become experts. They can stumble upon passion, they can stumble upon opportunity, but one does not stumble upon expertise. Expertise requires work.

Anyway. I'll probably post more about Outliers later. Or maybe not. I don't know.

Good writing, interesting concepts, and personal meaning all wrapped up in one 300 page book. That's my kind of reading material.

-ka

98 - Dreams Come True

So, I've been in Disney World this week. I'm going to post more about that later, but I feel like I needed to start this post with that fact.

Do you know what the motto of Disney World is? Disney World: Where Dreams Come True. For those of you who know me, I'm not a huge Disneyland/Disney fan. I don't have as much fun as some people at theme parks, and I know that most people just don't understand that. The characters in Disneyland and Disney World were a main part of most people's childhood. I watched the cartoons and enjoyed the music, but I can't say that I have one Disney character that inspired me as a child.

Don't fret, however, because my childhood was not lost. Instead of being lost in fantasies of pretty dresses and fairy godmothers, I was lost in a world full of phoenixes and wizards. I imagined casting spells and defeating dark magic with my friends.

It's interesting being in a place full of other people's dreams because it makes me realize everyone has their own fantasy. Everyone has something they get irrationally excited about, even if they don't think they do. All I know is, when I walked with my family into Universal Studios Orlando and saw the brick spires of an all-too-familiar castle, my heart jumped more than a little bit. My dream was not realized in the place where dreams come true, but that doesn't mean it didn't come true.

Like I talked about in my last post, everyone needs a place in which they can escape. For a very long time, my imaginary place was in a book. I made friends with the characters, and I flew away to a place where no ordinary thing could catch me. During my travels, I (nearly) perfected my British accent so as to truly be a part of the story. I acted out my own endings and imagined my own role in saving magic from He Who Must Not Be Named. There is something truly magical about escaping your life within the confines of your own house.

I realize that I'm not unique in my feelings toward the Harry Potter series. In fact, I'd wager that more than half of my age group feels the exact same way. But, it doesn't matter. They still don't know what Harry Potter did for me. It's special because I'm special, and that makes all the difference.

You probably don't really understand this post. In truth, it's more for me than for any of you. I'm just feeling the satisfaction of having a childhood fantasy come to life, and I thought I'd share.

So, for all the childish dreams inside of you waiting to come out, just hold onto them. They do come true eventually--even if only in your imagination.

-ka

97 - In My Place

Today was a rainy day.
I really like rainy days.

This summer has been an extremely hot one, and so when I woke up this morning to a slight chill and the smell of rain, I was REALLY excited. Haha.

Later on in the day, my mom went to a anniversary dinner with her husband (they've been married four years now), and I went to the gym. When I pulled into my driveway, I just sat in my car for like twenty minutes. Together, the rain beating on my windshield and my mellow music created an atmosphere unlike any other. Obviously, since this experience warranted a blog post, the serenity I felt was important.

Everyone needs a place. Whether you're married or single or whatever, everyone needs a place. Sometimes, your place can be abstract; it can be within the confines of a book, or woven into a melody. Sometimes, your place can be a physical place -- a closet, or a chair.

No matter where your place is, you know that you will feel calm.
Peaceful.
Relaxed.

You know that, in your place, nothing else matters except feeling. You can be in your place and know that, somehow, everything will be alright.

Everything will be alright because right here, in this moment, you're happy. Maybe you're content, or maybe you're excited. Maybe you're grateful or humble. Maybe you are utterly aware of yourself. You are feeling, and emotion equals life. When you stop caring, that's when you stop living.

Everyone needs a place where they can just feel whatever it is they need to feel.

For me, the place changes (as it probably does with many people). Today, my place was in my car. I was watching my blurring windshield and singing along with She & Him, the Shins, and Bright Eyes. Somehow, in those moments, it seemed as if the rain was falling in sync with the music. It created the perfect amount of background sound to put my soul at ease. My car was my place, and I was feeling.

It feels good to feel.

This isn't my photo. I got it from pikachudork on Deviantart.com.
I should've taken a picture of my own car, but some experiences just can't be captured by photo. Only words will get close to doing them justice. 

-ka

96 - Carry On

I know that I have at least one sister who isn't a big fan of We Are Young, but I really do love this song. Same band, only this song isn't about getting wasted at a bar.



We are shining stars. We are invincible. We are who we are.
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground.
Carry on.

-ka