101 - Why I Write

Sometimes, I just need to write.

I need to write in the way that all people need to sleep.

In my psychology class, I learned that sleeping is like a reboot for your mind. It, quite frankly, works miracles. Baffles neurologists. No one knows why sleeping keeps us alive, but it does. Our neurons continue to fire and our hearts continue to beat and our feelings continue to feel because we sleep. Writing does that for my insides.

When I write, I seem to feel everything. I feel pain, and anger, and sadness, and elation, and surprise, and horror, and wonder all at the same time. I feel like I have an entire world inside of me with girls and boys. People, like you and me. They’re inside me, and I’m channeling everything they feel. They want me to tell my world about emotion—as if my world doesn’t quite get it. I’m the solution—me. Those figurative and literal people inside of my bones shake me until I feel like I’m going to explode with passion and ideas.

I have to write. If I don’t write, then I’ll explode. Simple as that.

Ok, obviously it’s not as simple as that. I know that there isn’t a world inside of my body, and that I’m not going to explode because I’m passionate about what I do. But maybe the fact that I feel like that sometimes makes all the difference. Maybe that’s what makes me unique.

Honestly, though, I feel like being unique is so… in right now. Haha. Doing things to be different is the trend. Quite the paradox, right? It’s trendy to not be trendy. Whatever. I can assure you that I’m not being trendy when I say that I love being unique. I always have, even when it lost me all my friends. But I digress.

 This figurative and literal world inside of me is the reason I am who I am. It’s the reason I’ve accomplished so many things. I am someone who gets inspired by some well-placed words in a novel. I get excited about underlying meanings. I seek to find the uniqueness in every situation. When I know I’ve gotten something right, that world inside of me is quiet. Peaceful. Satisfied.

Then. I can sleep. And start all over.

-ka